I am at this point in my life, in no relationship. Yet, I feel caught in a web. So many people in different areas of my life. Many don't live in town. One is coming vm back from Afghanistan. I feel like I'm just waiting. Waiting for something to happen, but not making any decisions about what I want. Maybe I don't know what I truly want. My main feelings go to my returning soldier. I feel anxious and don't know how to help him. He has had a very rough time. I'm a bit scared. It's very nice to get all that out.
Just as it feels good simply to lay out your thoughts like you just did you can lay things out further. What i mean is that you can tell these people exactly that. It's hard for us to do so I know. 'But if i tell this person that i don't know what i want then they'll be unsure of what they want...' That's unfortunate but it's fair. Include that when you tell them. 'I don't want you to stop being in my life however i'm not sure which way i want you in my life...' this is ok. Allow them the awareness of how the situation really is so that they can make their own decisions fairly. It's very very hard. We do these things not realizing we're getting ourselves into a trap because we're not trying to be dishonest.. we just don't say what we mean because we dont think it's what those around us want to hear. They may not honestly but it's the truth and it will unvail itself either way...might as well give them a heads up. Like i said though it's ok for that heads up simply to be, "Hey you should know im unsure about things i know i want to do right by you though give me a while to figure out the best way to do so.."
My boyfriends brother lives with us and has no where else to go. Even though I feel like a b**** saying it, I really am going crazy with him staying in our house. We have 3 dogs, a cat, and 3 people living here already. He doesn't help clean or respect that it is our home. We don't want to hurt his feelings, but I am going insane.
First I really think you need to make sure you're being clear with your boyfriend's brother about what's causing you and your boyfriend stress then give him a chance to get it together. A lot of times we just can't say things because we're afraid they'll sound too harsh or demanding so we end up at our wit's end and the situation turns out worse than it ever needed to be or rash decisions are made..etc. You can voice these worries as well. "been wanting to say something but i didn't want to offend you so before i start you should know that's totally not my intention" Its way easier than you make it out to be. Start it in your head. "Hey dude we care about you and we want to help you but we can't hinder our life to do so and we can only do it temporarily, this is our home and your welcome here but we take care of it and expect you to do so while you're here too. I doubt you realized you weren't so i thought i'd just ask" maybe the issue is different than that but just approach it very matter-of-factly. You genuinely just want everyone to be comfortable in their living situation, lay out how that can happen best with him. Everyone generally has good intentions sometimes people just don't know how to get there help him, help you. You think? or is it deeper than that?
Work sucks lets go home.
Let's. We'll go back to work when we feel up to it, better work will be done then anyways.
My problem : Anorexia and depression. There is no way to solve this, just a way to make it less bad. I've spent the last 10 years trying to solve myself. I've spent endless nights trying to figure out where this all started. I've recently started taking my seizure medication, which suppresses my appetite. This concerns me a great deal, but i have to take this medication. I'm frightened that i'll start losing weight again, which is not what i want. I'm not really sure what i can do anymore. It's nice to have a place to put my thoughts down without judgement.
it's all contradictory: worse before you're better, the cure will make it harder etc etc. i don't know a sentiment for this other than to believe things are getting better as you try and try yet they only get harder. That moment when you're seconds from giving up is proof you're heading the right direction. The come up is right after you make it through the down slide It will be amazing. followed by another down slide because that's how it is just don't skip out on this shitty merry-go-round-esque dizzying life cycle. Sometimes its magic, sometimes you puke, occasionally the music isnt so creepy alot of times it is, one time someone had to hold you up on the unicorn maybe next time around you'll just sit in the carriage thing, maybe you'll be making out and crap...i don't know. Falling off a painted horse and motion sickness suck but carousels really are amazing pieces of machinery.
If you've ever had suicidal tendencies, you're due to find the remedies Beautified by any means, but who am I to mention these? It's become torture racking my brain thinking of escape routes I'm no bandit, I don't make out, man I've had it, i need to break out Like bad acne on a teenager, but I'm only popping questions Yet I sit here waiting for an answer before I ever send the message But if you sift whats in the wreckage, you'll learn to delegate your options So many bones in my backyard from the skeletons in my closet Watch me demonstrate heaven's gates get leveled by a lock pick Force my way to the other side, life just makes me nauseous But this bible writing's dog shit, just breathing causes cautions To be taken like we're as fragile as the photo frames within your office Holding pictures of your wife and kids, Fuck that, I want to slice my limbs With a jagged knife and then, hopefully I'll never have to say goodbye again I'm terrible with closure, I'm stubborn and hold grudges I'll never forgive our moms for birthing us and showing us what love is I could've had an okay life just dying on a bed sheet But now it's been elongated with affection yet it's left me So the pain is stained with burgundy like mercury had splashed From a cracked thermometer i bit when I tried swallowing the glass Hoping for a hundred and ten temp, but I was told all of it would pass I feel like I'm walking backwards, ironic since i'm merely following my past It's an infinite circle, holding my breath until my skin's a bit purple To compliment the blood that I've begun to gurgle I just want that escape, but I'm not dying from lining incisions I'm dying on the inside, just not the way that I envisioned All I want for Christmas is my coffin in shrouds But with my luck, I could jump off a building and get caught by a cloud I used to say "cheer up kid" to every body who talked to me But when they'd say it back, I only felt like they were mocking me I need a new philosophy, but I'd rather be with Socrates Pondering if this odyssey could possibly get positive, it bothers me Knowing it's a pipe dream, knowing what my life brings but living just isn't my thing, I just want to fucking die please.
you're a good writer, you could write a book and THEN die. sales would go through the roof. No really i dont think you should do that. um i dont know its just a shitty thing to do. someone has to find you dead and then people have to mourn you and lose sleep and you obviously cant do anything for anyone in that state so...just selfish. Hell though consider youre one of those people who realllllly believes they could care less about other people. Dying fucking hurts, and its scary as shit. You think you meant to and then you actually have to feel it an you cant take it back, you might just come back with half your face lookin like its drippin off your skull or you might end up somewhere wayyyy more hellish than this. really think about something worse than this decrepit rotting planet. happiness is a rarity ok. no one just has it and it doesnt hang out it has shit to do. you get it on occasion, when your privileged enough to. why the hell cant you just take what youre given? its better than nothin. lets say you believe nothin worse could happen because youre an athiest nihilist pessimist kinda person, well, you wrote this. on a site that no one looks at. its obviously not gonna be left as a legacy on this domain name i've got for another few months. clearly you wanted someone to know, you wanted someone to care, you want SOMETHING i dont know you want something more than just nothing though. i hope you get it.
okay so my girlfriend, i feel like she hates everything about herself. i dont get it. she's fucking awesome. and i know girls are really critical about how they look, but i also realize this is another dimension. she is beautiful inside and out but constantly puts herself down with her looks or her life troubles and refuses to be happy. what sucks even worse is that she can't explain why or how to stop it, and nothing anyone says ever helps. all i can do is hug her and kiss her and hope everything passes, but it never does. it hurts me knowing shes hurt, but i know if i let her know this, instead of her changing, she'll just bottle it up while im around and wait until im gone to hate life again. she deserves the best. maybe im not the best, maybe her family isn't, maybe her life isnt, but she deserves all the best. i just wish she could be happy. maybe happy isnt the right word. i just wish she wasnt conflicted. she will never be content and it sucks. i cant wrap my brain around it as much as i try to, but im not exactly a licensed psychiatrist either. i just hope everything gets better. if there's anything i can do to help her feel better or help her in any way, i'd love some feedback, because right now all i can do is kiss and hug her and hope i can at least give her enough support to help her smile. that's all i want. if she's happy, i'm happy. but she's not, and it hurts. but it's not her fault. i get that... i just... i dont know dude. i love her to death and back. can i do anything more than just be there for her? and what if this never changes? ...as much as i hate to say it, i can't do it forever... but i dont want her to know that.. i just want her to be happy.
No, you can't do anything more for her than that. in my experience these things dont stay in one stage too long they either get better or worse. My personal belief is that it's key to honestly believe it will get better. The thing is you're not responsible for her happiness. People have these skewed ideas that that's doable but it's not. The people who try to take on the task of making other people happy often end up truely jaded for the lack of reward of for the work they put into it. You can't give away a part of your life for someone else's happiness, you'll end up very disheartened when you do especially when you don't see the result you wish you could've. Be there but if it begins to comprise the quality of your life you have to take care of yourself even if that means not being there. I understand what it's like to feel you just have to do something but you'll where yourself down. She's the only one who can change her mind state. It's up to you if you can be alright with waiting for that, you just have to play it by ear. How long til you pull the plug on something comatose like that is a very personal and difficult decision and no one is more or less noble than another. Its hard to tell if someone will pull through and if they can't it's not because of anything you did or didn't do.