My problem : Anorexia and depression. There is no way to solve this, just a way to make it less bad. I've spent the last 10 years trying to solve myself. I've spent endless nights trying to figure out where this all started. I've recently started taking my seizure medication, which suppresses my appetite. This concerns me a great deal, but i have to take this medication. I'm frightened that i'll start losing weight again, which is not what i want. I'm not really sure what i can do anymore. It's nice to have a place to put my thoughts down without judgement.


it's all contradictory: worse before you're better, the cure will make it harder etc etc. i don't know a sentiment for this other than to believe things are getting better as you try and try yet they only get harder. That moment when you're seconds from giving up is proof you're heading the right direction. The come up is right after you make it through the down slide It will be amazing. followed by another down slide because that's how it is just don't skip out on this shitty merry-go-round-esque  dizzying life cycle. Sometimes its magic, sometimes you puke, occasionally the music isnt so creepy alot of times it is, one time someone had to hold you up on the unicorn maybe next time around you'll just sit in the carriage thing, maybe you'll be making out and crap...i don't know. Falling off a painted horse and motion sickness suck but they really are amazing pieces of machinery.

Work sucks lets go home.
Ufg. let's. i'd feel more at home anywhere if i had less work to do.

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